Take a stand

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Padre (Captain) Raphaël Liboneye - Saint-Jean Garrison

October 16 to 22nd will be the week of Family Violence Awareness. The Help Victims in Family Crisis Committee invites members of the military community to take a stand against family violence and reminds you that there are resources available for the ones who suffers from it.

Family violence is not a myth, it’s everywhere. It spreads like fire, burns like a flame and insidiously sneaks in a relation like water through cracks of a foundation, it manages to finish off anything, even the most sincere relationships. We must simply prevent it and keep in mind that one lives with another one because of love, we should never take our partner for granted and treat them like a thing.

We choose each other because of love, so we receive that love like we give it. Nobody owes anything to anyone. It is from pure gratuity that this relationship is born, grows and ripens. We have to water it with love, respect and communication, because it is sensitive to power struggles, to lack of respect and to domination. We need to accept the other person like he or she is, by recognizing in him or her the unspeakable told day by day.

Violence can be verbal, mental, social, sexual, physical or financial. Without getting into details, no violence is acceptable, because the other one is sacred, fated to an infinite happiness and called to blossom everywhere, even within the twosome. We live together because the other one counts for us, has value to our eyes and is irreplaceable. The other one is never an object. He or she is a human being. The other one is never an acquisition because he or she is illusive. Accepting that the other one may slip away, is also accepting to move forward together in mutual respect, so that we can discover each other little by little. It is also, giving to the other, the chance to say again “Yes, I do”, like the first day of marriage.

Communication is like a tandem bike, their needs to be two of you; the pace at which it moves forward is the result of a common effort oriented in the same direction. The message sent is one that fulfill joy, knitted of love with a silk thread. The other person is not a garbage can in which we spit in (sorry!) and on who we throw away all that we don’t want to keep inside ourselves anymore. There are services available for you at that point. If there are no more joy in living together, we need to recognize this and talk to our partner about it, who is too often the first victim. Otherwise, for the respect we owe to each other, we need to ask for help without waiting too long.

Time is sometimes the enemy of relationships, we often hear. No! The worst enemy for a relationship is routine. ‘Routine makes dull what was shining before’ and like Céline Dion says “Love can get a cold”. Discovering new aspects in our partner is our challenge, because time flies with a universe filled with love. On the contrary, when life is driven by hate, time stops and it’s really Hell.

Family violence is not a fatality, so we need to condemn it, no matter where it comes from. Jesus said one day : “do unto others like you would like others to do onto you” (Mat 7,12).


If you need help

If you think that you are victim of violence, if you use violence with people close to you or if you have any worries for someone else, call!

- Psychosocial services (Monday to Friday 7:30 a.m. to 4:00 p.m.)

       514-252-2777, extension 4668 (Montréal)

      450-358-7099, extension 6720 (Saint-Jean)

- Military Family resource Centre

      514 252-2777, poste 4984 (Montréal) 

      450 358-7099, poste 7955 (Saint-Jean)

      450 462-8777, poste 6810 (Saint-Hubert)

- Family Info Line: 1-800-866-4546

- Military Police: 450 358-7099, poste 7911 or 911 for emergency

- SOS Spousal Violence : 1-800-363-9010 or 514 873-9010

For resources available to you if you are reservists or civilian employees, visit





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